Stopped You
by Victoriaaaaa
Summary: End of Season 4, starts out similar but then goes AU
1. Chapter 1

**_I have this idea but the first chapter will be repetitive, but too beautiful to alter... _**

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_"Hey" __She said walking into the room he was currently occupying, "Hey," he responded quickly, getting back to unloading his gun. _

_"What are you doing?" She asked, trying to get closer to him, as he scrambled around. _

_He looked up at her, what was she doing, she was stalling him but right now he wasn't in the mood, the last year had been rough, Jerry died, she left, then she came back but he was with Marlo, and it had all gotten to be too much for him to handle, so he was leaving, "I'm going home," he replied shortly, as he headed for the exit. After the day he had mind games, were not in the cards, they had just found Oliver, and he now needed to be alone for awhile. _

_"The guy's still out there," They had been given specific instructions, don't leave the station, they were on a hit list, so was Chloe who was now in ICU, so was Oliver and he was missing and now found; thankfully. _

_He chuckled out loud, "I know." To be honest he didn't really care, at this point he was done, Andy was with someone else; even though he was as well it still sucked to see it. "You should stay here, Frank's right best place for you." He wanted her to be safe, he always had but he could be in the same building as her and Nick, not right now, the wound was still too fresh. _

_She shook her head slightly, "Oh, but not you right? Your good? Your bulletproof?" She asked, it always scared the crap out of her that he was so careless, he feared nothing it seemed like, he was one of those people who wasn't scared but death or the fact that there was a cop hunter out there with a gun, and a hit list with their names on it. _

_They locked eyes, "No." He knew he wasn't but his heart couldn't take it, it couldn't take watching the women he loved with someone else. He turned away, heading for the door. _

_"Sam, you can't just leave," She followed him, she needed to know he was safe, there had been so many times where he put himself in danger and she would have done anything just to know he was okay, but he seemed pretty admit he was leaving._

_"Yeah, I can actually it's the only thing I can do", he turned back and looked at her for a brief moment, turning back he continued to head out the door "The only good thing." _

_She knew he was headed out the door, she debated internally what to do, to run after him or let him leave, "Hey," she said chasing after him, "Hey? What do you mean the only good thing you can do how is it a good thing to leave?" She asked, as they walked side by side._

_He could hear the worry in her voice, "Everybody's fine. Oliver's okay." he said, continuing to head for the exit. _

_She wasn't ready to let him walk out the door, she needed him to be here. "Right. So stay." She begged knowing this was probably her last attempt at him doing so._

_He had waited months to hear her say those words, asking him to stay, all he wanted was her to ask him to stay but he knew she was saying them as Andy McNally, the girl who wanted everyone to follow orders and be safe, not as the Andy McNally who was madly in love with him, "I can't, I can't" He said slowly stopping and facing her, he berried his face in his hands before letting out a deep sign. "I can't be **here** anymore..." He said looking up at her, "With you." _

_Her eyes shifted around the hallway, "I.. I don't understand," she said, he was with Marlo, they had been here for months now, what was the sudden change?_

_"I screwed it up, it's my fault. I screwed it up over, and over and over again. Andy I want you to be happy more than anything in the world more than anything I could ever want for myself and you are with him and that means uhh, I gotta go."_

_She debated on running after him, and continue to beg him to stay, but instead she let him go. _

_She let him walk out of the station._

_And as it turns out, Ford was in the station and he successfully got another person on his list, not Nick, her._

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**Yay or Nay? **

**Let me know guys? **


	2. Chapter 2

**_Blown away but all your lovely comments!:) _**

**_Here's a longer update for you guys!_**

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_He left, and she let him, a small part of him wanted her to continue to chase after him, fight for them for a change. But she didn't so he got in his truck and left. _

_Walking in his front door, he couldn't stop replaying their conversation, "Right. So stay." Her words rang in his ears, why would he stay? He couldn't help the situation anymore and watching her with Nick wasn't something he could handle, dragging himself upstairs he had a quick shower and went to bed. _

_Vv_

_After she had distracted Ford enough to take his aim from Nick to her, everything was a little fuzzy._

_Nick road with her to the hospital, he didn't say much, he just held her hand and told her everything was going to be okay. _

_Apart of her wished Sam was there he would tell her she was an idiot for letting Ford shot, but then thank God because she had her vest on and the shot that gotten her in the shoulder, and the shot to the abdomen was best possible outcome. She just wanted him there, to hold her hand, and just be protective of her. But Sam left_

_Everyone was running around trying to make sure Andy was okay and then someone had to find Sam and tell him what happened, even though they all knew they were no longer together, everyone knew that they still loved each other, they were just waiting for the two of them to wake up and realize it._

_Vv_

_Sam was sleeping semi-soundly, when there was a pounding at his door, he knew it wasn't Andy because she would call or something first, then he realized that his phone was still on the dashboard of his truck so it could very well be her. Rubbing his eyes, he quickly made his way to the front door. Opening it, his heart sank a little when he saw it was Frank and not her.  
_

_"Sam?!" He basically yelled at him, "Where the hell have you been and why aren't you answering you're phone?" He questioned._

_"Frank! It's great to see you, I was just you know sleeping, and my phone, I left it in my truck." He said sarcastically, and cracking a dimply smile. _

_"So you not only disobeyed my orders of not leaving the station..." He said trailing off, he didn't know how exactly to tell Sam the news. _

_"Frank, if you came here to yell at me for leaving can it wait until tomorrow when I'm at work? Because I've had a really long day." He had no fight left in him, he was tired, physically and emotionally. _

_"Yeah, and it's about to get longer," Frank muttered before continuing,"Sam, as much as I wish yelling at you was my only purpose for being here, but it's not, Sam there's been a shooting," He said. _

_Sam froze, it wouldn't just be a regular shooting for Frank to come banging his door down. It had to been someone they knew, then it clicked, "McNally was shot?!" He said, mind racing._

_After the words left his lips he felt sick, the room began to spin, he felt like he was going to throw up, he couldn't get his breathing under control; short, chopping breaths were all he could manage. Frank steadied his friend who looked like his knees were going to give at any moment, "Is she..?" He asked, as he made eye contact with him again._

_In a way he didn't want to know Frank's answer, he couldn't handle it if she was gone, really gone. She had impacted his life so greatly in such a short amount of time, so much so that he couldn't really remember life before her, and he didn't want to imagine it going forward without her. _

_He just needed her to make a weird face when he made a comment about something, or he babbling about whatever she read in the paper before shift. _

_He just needed her to look at him with those big, Bambi eyes and just smile at him, she had this thing she did were she looked in his eyes and he felt whole, he felt safe from his past, present and future, she did all that to him with one look. _

_"Sam, let's just get you to her okay?" Frank said quietly, leading his friend to the cruiser. _

_Sam didn't say much the ride over, he felt numb, he just needed to see her, Frank didn't give him much information he assumed because he didn't want him to get his hopes up, then end up being destroyed when they got to the hospital, so he just sat there, thinking, about everything, thinking about what might have been their last conversation, what could he have said differently to have made her leave with him, or get him to stay. _

_But there was nothing he could do now, all he could to was sit there and wait, wait until they got there, then wait in the waiting room to hear something, wait for her to wake up, if she ever woke up._

_Vv_

_They all just did what Sam expected, sat there and waited to hear something, anything really. Sam sat on his own, in the corner of the seating, with Traci and the other rookies to his right and then there was Collins also on his own, to his left, he didn't get it why wasn't Collins sitting with the other rooks._

_He thought about going over and talking to Traci but he didn't know what to say, he didn't know if there was anything to say that could help her in this moment. He didn't know what to say the day Jerry died, and he didn't know what to say today, so he didn't bother._

_Even after Jerry died, Sam didn't say much about it to Traci he just made sure he was there for her, that's all he could really offer her. _

_"Hey, uhh Collins why are you uhh sitting alone?" He finally asked, breaking the silence that had enveloped the waiting room, realizing after he said it, that it was something Andy would have done, she was never a fan of silence or awkward lapses of time, he smiled a little at the thought._

_Nick just looked at Sam, mouth half opened, before Chris piped in, "Wait, Frank didn't tell you?!" He questioned, Chris had never been a yeller but right now he was definitely talking louder than Sam had ever heard. Nick's whole body language shifted from blank to scared, in a blink of an eye. "Come on, Nick you gonna tell him or do I have to?" Chris chripped from across the seating, standing up slowly._

_"Chris, stop!" Gail begged, grabbing Chris hoping he'd sit back down. Sam didn't know what the hell had happened, all he asked was why Collins was separated, and it was like he had lite a fire. _

_"No, this is his fault, it's always his fault, first you get kidnapped, we lost Jerry because of it, and now we might lose Andy..." Chris' face was all red at this point and everyone just looked at him, "Come on Nick you're suppose to be the golden child, Mr. Do-No-Wrong, tell Swarek what happened." _

_Sam held his breath as he waited to see what the hell everyone was talking about._

_"It should have been me." Nick said quietly, looking down at his feet. "What should have been you Collins?" Sam questioned, furrowing his brows, confused at what was going on._

_"Ford, he uhh, he had that gun pointed at me, and Andy distracted him enough for him to point it at her and uhh.." He trailed off, his vision became blurry with tears. _

_"HE'S THE REASON, SHE WAS SHOT! IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT, AND IF SHE DOESN'T MAKE IT I'M HOLD HIM RESPONSIBLE." Chris exclaimed, Gail grabbed him and dragged him outside, to give him sometime to cool off, there was no use having him get everyone worked up, over something that no one could have changed._

_Sam's jaw tightened, closed his eyes and shook his head, he was about to lay into Collins for letting Andy do that, when the doctor walked in, "Andrea McNally?" He asked, before looking up at all the puffy eyes staring back at him, "Is there a Traci Nash, Thomas McNally or Sam Swarek here?" _

_No one had gotten in contact with Tommy, he was freshly sober, and doing really well in a program just outside of the city, in Hamilton. Sam looked over at Traci who nodded at him, "I'm Sam, and Traci is right here, what can we do for you doc?" He asked politely as he and Traci made there way over to him._

_"I have you down here as Ms. McNally's emergency medical contacts, I just wanted to brief you on her condition and the next steps we need to take.." He trailed off, looking down at a chart, and other random papers._

_"She suffered from a gun shot to the abdomen which was stopped by her vest, however she did receive a shot to the right shoulder, which we had to reset, and she suffered a large amount of blood lose, meaning the next 48 hours are critical but Ms. McNally seems like a strong, healthy young woman, so we have high hopes she'll pull through." He said, before looking back up at them._

_"When will she wake up?" Traci asked quietly. "When the body goes through a large amount of trauma it's difficult to pin point when exactly she'll wake up could be a few hours or a couple of days, whenever Ms. McNally." _

_"Her name is ANDY," Sam said cutting the doctor off, it felt so impersonal to him, Ms. McNally, like she was just a name to him._

_"Whenever Andy, is ready to wake up she will," the doctor finished. _

_"When can we see her?" Traci asked. _

_"Because she's in such a critical state, it's policy that only emergency contacts can see her, and immediate family can see her at this time." He responded. _

_Sam looked at Traci, as much as she wanted to see her, she let Sam go first._

_"She's in room 213A, this way." The doctor told Sam, leading him to her. _

_Vv_

_All the pain, and anger he held on to knowing she was with someone else, and let him walk out the door, washed away the second he saw her in that hospital bed, she was sleeping, she looked calm but in rough shape, her shoulder was all wrapped up, he assumed it was a through and through, thank God. _

_He noticed that she made this face every time she inhaled, bruised ribs were the first thing he could conclude. He thought about talking to her, maybe even waking her up but he just wanted this moment with her, where he could watch her sleep like he used to, gentle moving the hair away from her face, and placing a soft kiss on her forehead._

_Sitting down, he gentle traced circle on her arm as she slept, all he wanted was for her to wake up. But when she did they had to face the reality of their situation. _

_She was with Nick._

_He was with Marlo._

_But for right now it was just him and her, Sam and Andy, so he just sat there, drawing on her forearm, waiting for her to wake up from her peaceful slumber._

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_Let me know what you guys think!_

_Reviews are loved:)_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Just wanted to address that this is AU, and only the first bit was actually following what happened in the show!_**

**_Here's another chapter for you guys enjoy!_**

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_They would take turns staying with her, she was stable but she hadn't woken up yet._

_"Hey," Traci said meekly as she walked into Andy's room, "I bought us something to eat from the Penny, thought we could eat together? Might help pass the time until she wakes up?" She cracked a half smile, and grabbed the solo chair by the table. __P__lacing the bag of takeout food on the table, Sam moved closer to the table. _

_He didn't feel like eating, hell he didn't feel like anything, he just wanted her to wake up. "If she wakes up.." He said, trailing off as he reached into the bag. Traci's eye widened, "Sam.. You.. You can't think like that." She said quietly.  
_

"_How am I suppose to think?" He asked, shrugging his shoulders, "I have to prepare myself for the worst, and her not waking up is what I'm preparing myself for." He was trying and failing miserably at shutting off all his emotions, he didn't want to feel the way he was feeling, the last conversation they had ended with him walking away, he left her, and if she didn't wake up he would never forgive himself.__  
_

_"Do you know the last thing I said to her?" Traci shook her head, "I told her I had to go, I just had to you know? I told her how I felt, and then I told her I had to leave, God, how stupid am I?" He chewed his inner check, as he questioned his actions._

_Traci was surprised to hear that Sam had actually opened up, he had never really done that with anyone let alone Andy.__She always hoped he would, for Andy and for himself. _

_The last thing she wanted to do was pry or make Sam feel like she was trying to get more information out of him but she couldn't help feel like it was helping him to get all this stuff off his chest.__"Sam, you and Andy have been through a lot, together and apart, I think that it's only natural to feel connected to each other even though you're no longer together."_

_"I feel lost," He needed to just talk, for the first time in along time he wanted to say everything on his mind, all at once, in a big jumbled mess. He wanted it all out of his head, and out in the air. "Her being gone undercover killed me, I didn't know where she was, or if she was okay, and after Jerry, I.."_

_Trailing off, he closed his eyes for a moment to morn his friend, Jerry. "Losing him nearly killed me, he was my best friend, he was always there, even when I didn't know I needed him, he was there, it felt like he was one of the only people out there who wanted to know who I am. I just felt so lost there for awhile, so I pushed her away..." He didn't look at Traci, his eyes were glued to the floor. "And then she left."_

_"Sam.. do you still love her?" Traci said, looking over at her best friend laying in a hospital bed. _

_"Yeah, I do." He said with more confidence, than she had heard in his voice in along time.  
_

_"How'd you do it?" He asked her. _

_"Do what?" She said, standing up to go sit on her friend's bedside. _

_"How'd you go on without Jerry, because where I'm sitting right now, I can't help but feel if she dies then I will to." He closed his eyes again, shaking his head at the thought of her being gone. _

_"When I figure it out, I'll let you know." She gave him a half smile._

_He let out a small laugh, "Thanks, I'll be back around 10, do you need me to pick up anything?" He offered, grabbing his keys and jacket off the back of the chair._

_Traci shook her head slightly, before turning back to her friend._

_ Sam quietly walked over to Andy kissed her on the forehead, on his way out the door. _

_"Okay Andy, you really need to wake up now." She said, as she watched Sam walk down the hallway. _

_Vv_

_He drove for a while to clear his head, he kept thinking he heard his phone ringing but it was all in his head. _

_Thinking about what he'd do if it actually rang, and what he was going to hear when he finally picked up, hearing she was wake and turning his truck around to get to her as quickly as possible, or simply hearing that he needed to get to the hospital immediately because Traci would never tell him over the phone._

_When he finally got to where he needed to be, he killed the engine and got out of his truck, walking up the front steps slowly, he rang the doorbell and waited._

_Shifting his weight from side to side, he waited. When the door finally opened, he saw Marlo's semi-shocked face looking back at him._

_"Hey, do you think we could talk?" He asked, walking into her through her door. _

_Mindlessly he walked to the kitchen, force of habit, "So, how is she?" Marlo asked, as she ran her tongue over her teeth. _

_"Still hasn't woken up," He said before scratching his head slightly. _

_"Okay, well Sam what are you doing here?" She hated to seem cold or uncaring but it had basically been decided that they were over._

_"Well, I uhh I wanted to check on you and figure some stuff out." He knew he could have easily just brushed they whole relationship under the carpet long enough for Andy to wake up and Marlo to leave but that wasn't fair to anyone involved. _

_"There isn't really anything to talk about Sam, it's been 6 days since the accident and I haven't heard from you, so I'm going to assume we're done?" She said with a questioning tone. _

_"Yeah, I guess we are." She shook her head, without say anything._

_And with that he walked out of her kitchen, and then out her front door._

_Vv_

_When he got back to the hospital he was tired, all he wanted to do was lay beside her and fall asleep. _

_Walking up to her room he heard commotion, it was definitely Chris and Collins. "No you listen here Army man, you're going to turn you're sorry ass around and go home before I do something I should of the night this all happened." Chris said inches away from Nick._

_"Chris, you can say whatever you want but I'm going in there to see her, and there's nothing you can do about it so please step aside." Nick said, backing away to give Chris enough room to get out of his way._

_"Over my dead body you're going in there, hell you're half the reason she's in there." Chris was no budging, Andy was like his sister, and he wasn't about to let anyone negative near her._

_"You know what's not going to help her wake up, you and I standing out here arguing while you play the blame game." Sam finally got to the two of them and placed a hand on Chris' shoulder. _

_"You both need to shut the hell up and cool it. She doesn't need this right now okay? So Chris go down to the cafeteria, call Epstein see if he wants to meet you here," He said, knowing that Dov might be their only shot at him calming down._

_Nick turned away and was about to start walking before Sam stopped him, "Collins where do you think you're going?" He asked._

_"I know you were going to ask me to leave sir, so I was just saving you the trouble." He responded politely._

_Sam shook his head, "Eventually, we're going to have to you know address this." He said, motioning his hand between them._

_"The person that will be addressing anything will be Andy when she wakes up, and the only reason anyone is letting you be here right now is because you're an emergency contact, so enjoy it while it last's because when she wakes up she won't want you." Sam just looked at him, so full of confidence. _

_He understood Nick had taken ton of crap since the accident with people blaming him and what not but he seemed so damn confident that when she woke up she'd be staying with Nick._

_"I uhh, I, think it would be because if you leave Collins. Now." Nick nodded his head, "I was already half out the door." He replied before pivoting on his heels and waking down the hall._

_He thought about chasing Collins down the hall and once and for all fighting it out, this kid was an idiot, he had no idea what they had talked about that day, he didn't see the look in her eyes, and he didn't hear her asked him to stay. Then it dawned on him, he didn't know what she said to Nick. She could have easily told him she loved him. 'He's got of be confident for a reason', he thought._

_Sam gave himself sometime to calm down in the hallway, he felt like he didn't know what to do at this point, should he say by her side? Get close to her again only to have her push him away when she does in face wake up? Or should he cut his loses now, leave and start to function without her again. _

_He let out a deep sigh before entering her room, to find Traci reading her some celebrity gossip, from some magazine you get at the check lanes of a grocery store. "How is she?" He asked._

_"Still the same, how are you feeling?" It was written all over his face that something was wrong, but again she didn't want to pry with him. _

_"Broke up round 2 of Diaz and Collins, followed up by Collins telling me I'm wasting my time by being here because when she wakes up she won't want me..." He told her, looking down at Andy's sleeping body. _

_"Sam.." Traci said, "Am I kidding myself Nash? Am I wasting my time? Andy and I were so far apart for so long, I was stupid to believe that we could get this back?" He slowly backed away from the both of them, heading towards the door. _

_"You and Andy were great, and you always will be, you know how you two spent forever dancing around how you both felt? Jerry and I were betting on how long it would take for you guys to wake up and realize that you guys are meant to be..." She stopped for a moment, to think about those conversations with Jerry. "When you guys finally got together, Jerry was so proud to know that there was someone else out there who loved you just as much as he did. Just knowing that you were finally happy, meant the world to him," She smiled with a few tears in her eyes. _

_"You still didn't answer my question Nash.." He trailed off, 'maybe she didn't want to answer because she knew it was over, she just didn't want to be the one to say it.' He thought._

_"You guys are meant to be, you both just need to realize it." She said, standing up slowly, as he inched closer to the door. _

_"I can't get closer to her again only to lose her, I won't." He said, grabbing the door handle. _

_"Sam, what am I suppose to tell her when she wakes up?" Traci asked with a bit of anger in her voice, knowing he was walking out again._

_"Tell her if she needs me, you guys know where to find me. Traci, I'm sorry but I can't go through it again.." He finished, opened the door and walked out for the second time today, but this time she wasn't too sure when he'd be back._

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**_Don't hate me, just go with me on this, I know Nick and Sam seem a little out of character but remember this is AU! _**

**_Review and Comments are always adored!_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the lack of updates even though it's not a really good excuse, school has been eventful!**

**AN: I don't know how I feel about this chapter, it feels forced and didn't really flow well, but I tired, so be gently with your comments.**

**Hope you guys like it!**

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He walked up the stone steps on his best friend's porch, knocked on the front door with purpose and waited. Mentally he had decided if the door didn't open within the next 30 seconds he'd open it himself.

Luckily for Sam he was able to drag himself out of bed just before Oliver would attempt to body his front door open,_ "Sammy! I'd say it's nice to see you but you look like hell." _Oliver said in a slightly louder tone than he would normally use, as he walked his way through his friend's doorway.

Sam rolled his eyes,"_Oliver it's great to see you too! Yes of course you can come on in..." _The sarcasm dripped from his mouth as he spoke.

Looking around he could tell Sam was handling this break from McNally better than his last, his place wasn't a told right off like last time. Their break up that followed Jerry's passing, Sam went off the deep end so to speak, he stopped caring, his place was a mess, even his truck was pretty bad. But this time from what Oliver was seeing, he was handling it better than last time.

_"So, Sammy how's McNally?" He asked, as he planted his butt on the nearest couch._

_"I wouldn't know" _He said, dropping his head slightly and staring at the ground. It has been two weeks since he made his dramatic exist, he hadn't stopped by the hospital, called the hospital for updates, hell he hadn't even heard from Traci.

_"Dammit Sam, why the hell not?!" _Oliver questioned,_ "And if you give me some stupid answer, of why you're not by that girl's bedside right now I can and will beat your ass for being such an idiot!"  
_

Sam shrugged his shoulders slightly,_ "She's with Collins, Ollie. She has a boyfriend and I **had** a girlfriend, we've done this whole back and forth thing, whenever she's ready, I'm not and when I'm all in, she's out. I'm doing both of us a favor, cutting our loses before both of us get hurt; again."_

Oliver stood up and looked at his friend,_ "Do you hear yourself right now? Or are you still drunk from the last night scotch fueled pity party we all know you threw yourself last night?"_

Oliver had never been one to tell people how to live their lives, or what to do with them but seeing his best friend just shut down, and accept defeat was too much for him to handle. He knew Sam cared about Andy too much to walk away without a fight.

_"Sammy, brother- honestly? You're just going to walk away after literally everything you two have been through?" _

Sam laughed to himself for a brief moment,_ "Everything we've been through, Ollie, every time one of us ends up hurt. The night of the blackout, I finally thought I had her for real, not in my head or in my heart but for real in my arms, but then the lights came back on she left, and I walked around for months with this pit in my stomach knowing that she didn't feel the same way..." _He went silent for a bit, reliving those moments with her.

_"Sammy," _Oliver said quietly.

_"No, I'm not done, what about when I was under and she found me, for God sake she showed up at the Alpine Inn, and I got her, I offered her an out and she wouldn't take it, and we all know my cover was blown, but after I was suspended I got in my truck and waited, just to see if I could see her again, you know before the suspension was technically in effect, as I was pulling out of the parking lot I saw her, and I've never told anyone this but I rolled down my window, and I asked her if she wanted to try to be normal together... And then she left again, and I spent 3 months wishing she was here with me, but instead she ran off to Temagami," _He paused, trying to even out his breathing.

_ "When she got back, I wasn't ready to let her in, but she begged me to stay, she told me she knew she said yes, she meant yes, and we were finally together, everything was going great and then life happened, Jerry died, and I shut down, I wasn't able to process what had happened to him, how he could just be there one second and gone the next, I had just spoken to him 20 minutes earlier and then just like that he was gone, and I tried to save him, but he was gone. " _He shut his eyes, at the memory of watching his best friend slip away.

_"And every time I looked at her I thought about how quickly I- we lost Jerry, and I thought what if I lost her, in a blink of eye she was gone, how would I do it? So we- I broke up with her, I walked away before I could get any deeper." _

Sam had never opened up to anyone like this, ever, he had never really gotten into detail the story of Sam and Andy, their story.

"_And then she was holding a bomb, I've never been more terrified in my entire life, there she was, this girl that literally set my world into motion, she was the first thing I thought about we my eyes opened in the morning, and the last when I closed my eyes at night, and she was holding a bomb, one wrong move and she'd be gone, just like Jerry, in a breath; gone for good and not coming back. In that moment, all I wanted, all I needed to do was tell her how I felt, because if she was going to die, she needed to know how I felt, so I told her I loved her. I told Andy McNally, I was in love with her and she left; again_." He dropped his head, as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

_"Did you ever thing maybe it got to be too much for her? Maybe she got scared of needing somebody too much?_" Oliver said quietly, as he stood up.

Sam furrowed his brows with confusion.

_"I mean think about it, Sam, she's always needed you, since day 1, she needed your help to catch that guy on her first day. She went to you after she killed_ someone._ She went to you, on her first UC assignment. She's always needed you Sam, silently, and maybe she was worried that without you she would lose herself, so she left, to find Andy again, the independent one, who tackled your sorry ass on her first day._" They both smiled at the memory of ruining Sam's undercover assignment.

_"So, now what Ollie?_" Sam asked, he really didn't know what to do, he knew what his heart wanted but his head was getting in the way.

_"You have two options, you can A walk away for good this time, let her be free and you do the same, or B get your sorry ass in that pretty little truck you've got there and go back to where you belong, with her. You can sit by her bedside and wait until she wakes up, and when she does, tell her everything, all of it, the good, the bad, the ugly but tell her that you love her, because we all know you do, and I'll let you in on a not so little secret,"_ He leaned forward a little bit,

"_She loves you too."_ He whispers.

_"I mean personally I think option B is the best option, and the only one worth spending a second thinking about but it's up to you Sammy, so I'm going to go, let you think about it, just know that whatever you decide, you're gonna have to live with it, so be careful, and remember no matter what I'll always love you Sammy,"_ He winked at Sam, as he headed for the door.

Sam was left alone, again, with all his thoughts.

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Traci refused to update Sam on Andy's condition, she wasn't about to make the effort after he stormed off like a child. She was left with all the responsibility of being by Andy's side since Sam wasn't.

Chris had offered to spend sometime with the two of them, _"So, I bet no ones asking you this, how are you holding up Trac_?" He asked, taking a push from their poor excuse of a card game.

_"I'm okay, better than before, I just want her to wake up already, I don't understand why she hasn't yet,_" She got misty eyes at the unknown, what the future held for her best friend.

_"Don't worry, she's a fighter, she's just waiting until she's 100%, so she can wake up and get right back to work,"_ He cracked a half-smile, and so did Traci. _"I've uhh- I've noticed that Sam isn't here... Where is he anyways? I mean I'm surprised he hasn't glued himself to her bedside."_

_"Long story,"_ She said shortly, she felt it wasn't her place to tell other people their business, if Sam wanted people to know, he could tell them himself. "_Let's just say he left, and I'm not too sure if he's coming back._" She shrugged slightly.

Without either of them noticing Andy opened her eyes, letting out a sign loud enough to get both Chris and Traci's attention. Whipping their head around to allow their eyes to set on their now very awake friend, they stood up and walked over to her.

Chris was the first one to talk, "_What did I tell you we've got a fighter on our hands,"_ He said, brushing the hair off of her forehead.

_"Andy, you're awake! Thank god,"_ Traci said giving her best friend a hug.

_She looked around, she saw Chris and Traci but no sign of him, not an extra cup on the table, or a forgotten sweater left one visit, no trace of him at all. "Guys, uhh where's Sam_?" Andy asked in a dry, raspy voice.

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**Review and Comments are always loved!**


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the lack of updates but if you follow any of my other stories you know I've been trying to update them all!

For any of you guys who read An Hour A Day, I'm done the next chapter but as of right now it's the final chapter, and I'm trying to see if I can change it a bit to keep it going.

As always I apologize for any and all grammatical errors.

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He didn't know what to do truthfully, Oliver was right he had two options and he knew which one he wanted but something was stopping him. It wasn't Collins, he didn't scare him in the slightest. But it was how she felt, that's what scared him.

What if she has this near death experience and realizes she wants something simple, something easy, something with Collins.

He didn't know if he could handle that, letting her go and watching her be happy with someone else.

He did it once, and it nearly killed him.

Every time he saw her with Luke he'd get this tightness in his chest, and his gut felt like it had just been sucker punched, every single time he saw her with him. Before parade, after shift, at the Penny, it never got easier.

And the thought of going through that again made him sick to his stomach.

_"So you and this new Rook eh Sammy?" Jerry said before he took a shot at the basket. "What's her name again McNally?" _

_They tried at least once a week to play basketball together, a way to be caught up with each other outside of 15._

_"You're one to talk, what's going on with you and the gorgeous girl you were teaching at the academy, if my memory serves me correct you and Nash were something long before she graduated." Sam shot back with a grin, as he went to retrieve Jerry's made basket. _

_"Don't change the subject brother, and remind me to kill Oliver for his poor job of filling you in on what happened while you were gone. Nash and I have discussed whatever we are, are you going to answer my question or not?" He asked. _

_"There's nothing to answer, there's nothing going. I'm her training officer, and she's **my** rookie." He was lying, and he hoped he was doing a good job because he had no clue was going on with them. She was with Luke but that night in the Penny parking lot and then the night of the black out was really starting to mess with him._

_"**My** rookie, Sammy, brother you're making this too easy. I don't know how you make it as an undercover officer because you are the worst liar." Sam might have been able to fool other people but Jerry was one of the only people in his life that knew him. Not that they had long life talks and let each other know the other's deepest secret but Sam never kept any walls up with Jerry, he knew when he was lying, and he knew when he was interested in someone. _

_And right now that someone was McNally._

_"I'm not lying there's nothing going on, she's kind of with Luke, so there's nothing." He tried to sound content with his answer but he wasn't he wanted to be with her._

_"Did you hear what you just said?" Jerry asked, grabbing the ball and holding in between his hands. _

_"Yeah I did, I said there's nothing going on..." He was confused at what exactly Jerry was getting at._

_"Oh that wasn't the part I was talking about you said she's kind of with Luke, what's that suppose to mean? Because from where the rest of us are sitting she's very much with Luke, unless there's something that you're not telling us?" Jerry didn't want to pry with Sam but he did want him to be honest with himself. _

_If only he could see how he looked at McNally the second she walked into the room, or how he'd tense up with she was with Luke. And the day she was shot, he was a mess, even after he took her out of the trailer to see if she was okay, he was still shaken._

_"Slip of the tongue, she's with Luke, and there's nothing going on between us." The words didn't role of his tongue with ease, but he said them. _

_"Well Sammy, whether you're ready to admit it or not you two have something. She may be with Luke but you guy will end up together because I've never seen you look at anyone else like that, and I know that look because I caught myself giving it to Traci. So give it time, let this Luke thing play out but please promise me something. When you get you're chance don't let her go, fight with everything you have in you to make it work because she's the one for you, I know it."_

_"Okay brother I promise."_

Not having Jerry here to help him get through this was tough, what was even worse was that he was going back on that promise he had made to him. He wasn't fighting to be with her, he just walked away.

He sat there thinking about what Oliver had said and then that conversation with Jerry. He had to at least try, if he tried and she didn't feel the same way he could move on knowing he did everything to make it work.

/

"Uh, guys where's Sam?" She asked again, her throat felt like sandpaper, and she felt numb which she guessed was a good thing because she had been shot.

Traci and Chris just kind of looked at each other, "You've probably thirsty, let me grab you a glass of water," Traci said, thinking on her feet on how to avoid answering Andy's question.

"Good idea," Chris quickly added. "You know everyone's been by to see you, Oliver, Dov, Noelle and Frank and uhh, oh and look at what someone picked up for you at the gift shop." Chris rambled on, as he grabbed the stuffed elephant that had been sitting on the night table, with cards and flowers.

"Here's your water," Traci offered, handing it to her friend who gladly accepted.

The cool water felt amazing on her throat, finally being able to talk again, "Where's Sam?" she asked again.

"You know what? I'm going to tell the doctors that you're awake," Chris said as he leaned down and placed his hand over Andy's.

"You've got this right?" He said quietly to Traci as he made his way to the door. "Yeah I'm good." She replied quickly.

"Trac, where is he?" She asked again. It was one thing for him not to be there when she first woke up, and there being no traces of him in her hospital room but clearly Nick had stopped by, long enough to get her a stuffed elephant.

Well she assumed it was Nick because Chris and Traci were more of flower people, Gail would send nothing but visit because she wouldn't want traces of her caring too much, and Dov was a card person. But Nick was a stuffed animal guy, something you kept with you even after you went home, and when you saw it you thought of the person who gave it you.

Traci honestly didn't know what to say, telling her friend that he walked out wasn't fair she was in such a fragile state, she needed to be around positive energy but she couldn't lie to her best friend.

"He uhh, he.." Trying to word that Sam got scared and walked out was more difficult then Traci imagined, after Sam left she didn't think about how she would tell Andy all she thought about was Andy walking up and getting better.

"Trac," Andy let out a shaky voice, "Where is he?" She could feel her eyes starting to pool with water, did something happen while she was asleep, did something happen that would explain him not being by her side when she woke up.

She knew that he wasn't home sleeping or changing because then Traci and Chris would have just told her, but they were dancing around her questions and it was starting to scare her.

Traci's eyes shifted around the room looking for a source of inspiration on what to say when she looked at the door and saw Sam standing there, about to walk in. A wave of relief washed over her, "He's uh, right here." As she spoke Sam walked in.

He looked at her, he never wanted to take his eyes off of her, when he saw her laying there with her eyes open he realized how scared he was that she may never wake up. That he'd never be able to look into her eyes again, hear her laugh, watch her do her job. It all hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I was starting to think you had walked out Swarek," She said breaking the silence.

"I'm going to give you guys a minute, and go find Chris." Traci said quietly, before hugging Andy and walking into the hallway.

He just let his eyes soak up the vision of her awake and visible okay, he didn't move, still standing by the doorway.

He thought about every time he had made her laugh since the day she became a rookie, how many times he would look at her from across the room at the Penny while she was with the other rookies or Luke, how many times he wanted to check up on her while she was under.

He remembered the relief he felt when he heard her voice on the phone when she called from the warehouse, and he remembered how badly he wanted to wrap his arms around her and just hold her when he pulled up the truck door and saw her for the first time in 6 months. In that moment, he just wanted to know she was okay, that she was really right in front of him and that it wasn't a dream.

"You just going to stand there and look at the girl who got shot or are you going to come here?" She could tell something was off, and not because she had a new temporary whole in her abdomen. But for right now she just wanted him to stop staring at her and just hold her, she didn't want to talk for the first time she just wanted to feel safe in his arms.

He walked over to her bedside, and sat on the chair that was beside it, "You really scared me there," He told her, as he leaned over a place a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm right here Sam. And I'm okay. I promise." She forgot how good his lips felt on her forehead.

"Are you really McNally, because I saw you laying her unconscious, and all I wanted was to hear was you tell me that you're okay."

"Can you just lay here and hold me? I'm tired and all I want is to fall asleep with your arms around me," She told him as a tear fell from her eye.

He didn't say anything, he just did what she asked, he gently put his arms around her careful not to hurt her, "I'll always be here McNally," He whispered in her ear.

"I know" She said before slipping into a deep sleep with her head on his chest listening to the sound of his hear beating.

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